Remember the good old days when you had no problem coming up with conversations to have together?
The days when it was easy to lay worries and fears aside to enjoy a weekend stroll, as you dreamed and planned for the future?
If that time seems forever lost to you, remember this wisely…
Marriage has seasons and some of those seasons surely come by emotions and feelings, which can be amazing…
The newness of love can bring passion and delight most naturally…
But some seasons come naturally also, and they are less thrilling…
Like boredom, annoyance, and anger…
And to get through that and to come out enjoying your life with your spouse, like we learn is our married right in Ecclesiastes 9:9, marriage often takes both wisdom and bravery.
Why? Because when the love you share doesn’t come by sweeping positive emotions, it can, it must, be crafted and nurtured.
Stay with me for a sec. It’s just like the analogy of rubbing two sticks together to make a fire. You need both wisdom and bravery to foster the result but those who take the time and use the skills needed have the delight of warmth and safety.
You see. many things that are truly life-giving most definitely don’t come by themselves…
They take work.
And at times, marriage is such. But when you enjoy the fruits of your labor, it’s truly worth it.
Let these five tips help you to delight in one another together again this weekend. Keep them handy every time you feel like your life together should be led by emotions first.
Spend a few minutes today remembering the best qualities about your spouse. Do they always smell attractive? Do they always find ways to help others? Are they good at social interaction? Tell them aloud that you like this after you come up with something genuine. Positive feedback will get you everywhere in the long run.
Ask them what it is they like about you if they don’t naturally offer up a suggestion. It’s more than OK to let others know when you need encouragement, especially your spouse.
Do you have anything planned for just the two of you this weekend? If not, plan it. Don’t be mad that you’re the one taking the reins. Life is a precious gift and getting caught up in a 50/50 type of battle just isn’t worth your time. You can’t see the road ahead or behind as well and there may have been a time (or fifty) when your spouse carried a lot for you as well. Plan a fun time for the two of you in the white space of your weekend. If there is none, commit to waking early or staying up late one night to be with them just as you would have in the first years or months together.
When opportunity strikes, offer your spouse a simple loving touch. Whether it be that you snuggle up for a hug or you offer to rub their weary shoulders, hold their hand in the car or at the movies, touch is an integral part of keeping someone alive as we enter the world for a reason and it shouldn’t end when you’re older. As married adults, touch is a part of healthy vitality that can’t be ignored.
- And finally, don’t spend an inordinate amount of time complaining. Instead, enjoy a quiet moment when you are weary or tired, considering it permission for a verbal break if you are tempted to lash out. Whenever possible, be strategic so the whole family is blessed by your wise behavior during moments of anger and then others will respect you and you still get the opportunity to share your concern at a better time.
If you find yourself saying that in your circumstance, these above tips cannot be managed, give us a call! We’re more than happy to assist you as you forge this brave path of love again!
And for more fun and tips from us, next week, stay tuned for our FB giveaway and Live show!
Love Living Intentionally With You,
Christa and the Staff at RCC