Ever feel like your spouse is grating on your nerves with their incessant chatter or their piercing voice?

And inside, you’re cringing and in a bad mood, ready to say something unkind to get some space, peace and quiet?

Sometimes you actually probably do say it!

If so, rest assured, you’re not alone. My staff and I hear this complaint a lot. Especially from husbands, but sometimes it’s from the wives…

And though it doesn’t always feel like there’s anything you can do, there is…

The very best thing you can do when you’re in one of these conundrums is this…

Nothing.

Well, almost nothing.

Usually we give you tips to try.

But in some cases, like when you know you’re in an awful mood and it really isn’t ONLY your spouse’s fault (Remember, we aren’t responsible for each other’s moods)…

The very best thing you can do is to be still and to be quiet.

Don’t engage with someone when your temper is up.

Now before you go and cut them off, I’m not talking about stonewallingwhere you just ignore and don’t answer them, which may be your first line of defense.

It takes just a bit more effort but it’s better, trust me.

Here it is: Let them know WITH LOVE that you need a little space – you may even need to say the words “I love you.” Then, give them a time frame when you’ll be able to chat again.

Now you can have your peace and quiet.

In most cases, this simple tip is the only way to go. Because if you don’t do it this way (which admittedly takes a little effort), most likely, it’s going to take a LOT more effort and chatter (aka fighting) to get that peace you were longing for.

After you establish this loving but firm boundary, take a little personal time to figure out how to get out of the mood yourself.

If it’s a bad mood that’s been following you around on a daily basis or your spouse is truly nagging a ton, then it’s a good time to give us a call (941-301-8420) or an email so we can help you get to the bottom of it as simply as possible.

If you don’t have time to come in but you like the advice you read about here, consider taking our total marriage refresher, Relate: The At Home Marriage Retreat.

You were made to thrive together, the sooner the better!

Love Living Life Intentionally With You,

Christa and the Reflections Staff

 

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