Everyone wants to be loved, whether you’re married or single. You want people to be able to see your value, and when you’re down, to be able to put themselves in your shoes and meet you there so they get a better understanding of you.
As much as I love this concept, intention and empathy alone will not help you or your marriage to thrive. You also need healthy direction.
I’m here to give you the understanding, to help you set your intention, and to lead you on the path to wellness to personal and marital health once again or for the very first time! As you follow my lead, you’ll learn all you need about yourself and your spouse for empathy to settle in and for healthy growth to take root. This, in turn will help you to communicate on an even deeper and happier level.
Learning self-care and wellness is ultimately one of the most important across-the-board tools I have learned in my graduate degree and all of the marriage trainings and studies I have done over the years, which has included a special master’s degree focus on marriage and family as well as reading hundreds and thousands of articles, books, conducting assessments of my own, and of course being married and working with live individuals, families, and especially couples over the past two decades.
Yeah, I kinda like research my field a LOT…I’m an Enneagram 7 and I spend a lot of time in research 5 mode, while also trying to attend to the multiple needs of my clients in my busy practice, my children’s education since I have a middle schooler, high schooler and elementary students, and of course, trying to meet my husband’s needs.
Every single day, since I am doing all of this, I take care of me too, so I can hit the pavement running (and often walking and micro-napping in between!) and give you all my best!
It isn’t perfect but it’s healthy and that’s been a huge blessing to say the least. My husband Wes and I have been together for over twenty years and I have so many tools to share that have worked for us and the thousands of people I have worked with!
So as you step into this challenge, I want you to open your eyes to the possibility that you will leave it having more compassion, understanding, and my greatest hope you for you, love for your spouse and for yourself as you take it all in!
But you’ve gotta promise me something first.
You MUST take care of you. You can’t give out of nothing, and yes, in my field, I am all about self-preservation, as long as it’s balanced with care for others. Why? I have seen too many well-meaning individuals lacking self-care lose it, make crazy decisions based on lack of rest and lack of basic self care and wellness.
Think about it with me just for a moment. We have thousands of studies done on the importance of self-care, rest, replenishment, and wellness, and yet we are living in a culture where this concept has been distorted to mean someone can play video games and eat fast food all day, which my husband being in the medical profession, can sadly tell you this is not true wellness.
Trust me when I say I’m not judging you if you like fast food and video games, especially since I like both to a degree, but please hear me when I say if you’re not attempting to learn how to respect your body, you won’t be the best at empathizing and understanding the personalities in your home, especially in this case, your spouse.
Plus, what will you pour out from if you don’t take care of you? Indigestion and exhaustion? No, if your spouse is going to find you genuine and respectable, you have to approach your spouse with a decent amount of wellness and rest if you’re going to be any good for them. They’ll know you’re a phony for sure if you keep coming to them dry of any substance but yet say you love them so much. Remember to choose to take good care of yourself
Secondly, you can be a well-oiled machine who is still selfish, so as I mentioned above, love goes both ways. Yes, replenish for sure but please remember that pouring out love comes first, not just pouring in.
It is a wonderful gift to love one another, enjoy it to the fullest as you pay attention to growth as an individual and if you’re married, bring it into your marriage to bless your couple time, too!
So whether you’ve known me for awhile or this is your first pit stop at my local business, Reflections Counseling and Coaching, or you’re a member of the online Enneagram & Marriage community, It’s my deep honor to be part of that journey with you!
On January 1, 2020, you’ll get a copy of this challenge, the Five Day Energize Your Life & Relationship Challenge!!
Let’s welcome 2020 with our very best as we continue to learn and grow! Sign up for our email list here for your special spot in this free but life-changing challenge!!
Love Living Life Intentionally With You,
Christa
